Coming soon....

A picture of our sweet teeny tiny baby.....
Dangit I have had the hardest time posting the pic.... but I will figure it out.

ps I was 12 weeks on Friday and feeling pretty good.

Teeny Tiny Hart

We're havin' a baby!!! I know, crazy..... I'm pregnant :>
We have known for a few weeks and now the secrets out. This has been such a strange journey. At first I anxiously awaited a freak-out/fear fest...... it was just Jan. that we lost our little babes...., but I'm not afraid. In fact, my response this time feels so stinking different and actually much healthier. At times I wonder if this is what denial looks like, but most of the time I am just resting in the weirdness of the peace I feel.... I know, crazy.
Of course Will Hart is elated. It is strange that growing our baby in my belly makes it harder to be away from him during this crazy summer season. But, we just got to spend the day together yesterday which was a dream!!!! It's funny, we oddly celebrate the off kilter state of my stomach (aka big fat nausea) and my new found teariness..... With the best intentions, and not such stellar smoothness, my love said to me "I really think this one is going to take..." I think he's right.

Crazy Summer....

So the crazy summer has arrived...
Sweet Will has headed to the mountains, he left for trail training this am. He is with a super fun group and I'm sure will spend 1/2 of the time laughing his head off and the other half being angry at the snow.... Oh crazy, beautiful Colorado.

So I am totally a Certified Nurse Midwife. I took (and passed!!! :) my national board certification exam. And I'm happily hanging out with mamas at Mountain Midwifery. This a.m. I gave a presentation at a baby expo in Denver, then this afternoon I spoke to a group of Doulas on the anatomy and physiology of labor and birth... I am happy to say I am really liking these new midwife shoes that I'm filling :>

So we basically have like 6 showings a week on the house.... but no great offers, so we are just waiting.... Aaron, Jenah and Indi will be preceding us in the move to Denver and will start renting in South Denver mid-June. Then as soon as we close on the house we will make our way up as well. Selling a house is certainly no fun,,, actually showing a house 6 times a week is REALLY no fun. Hopefully soon....

denver or bust...

this is super exciting, i am finished with school!! I am officially starting at Mountain Midwifery on April 14 and will be a Certified Nurse Midwife!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!
I actually just took my competency exam yesterday, and if all goes well, will take my national certification test next week and officially be board certified!!!!!!

This has been a long road.... and i will be the first to admit, that much of the time i have not done it well. I have spent so much of the last 2 years waiting for it to be over with,.... not near enough time in the "hope it never ends" place. But something started happening in my heart last friday.
I have started dreaming again. Started remembering what and Who started me in this direction in the first place....

I am excited for what's next and thankful that i am almost finished being a student!!!
So anyway, denver it is!! The birth center I will be working at is located in a south suburb of denver and we gotta be closer :> Also, Aaron works at Denver Seminary, so it works for the entire Hart/Johnson household. ..... speaking of... there is a new member!!!! Please welcome India Angela Johnson. born at home on Feb. 29 2008. :>

she is a dream!!!!

and one more exciting bit of news..... Kylee and Travis are moving to Denver!!!!!! YEAH!!!
Travis is doing his medical residency at the University of Colorado, so they are moving here in June...... who would have guessed?!!!
;>

So many changes...

So I had to take a break.... But it's time to continue our story...

So much has changed since Dec. 27, the date of our last post.
We found out on Jan. 17 that we had two tiny babies, twins... and we lost them on the 18th.
It's been so hard.... Death is a bastard. Miscarriage is so ugly and much harder than I had ever understood.
Honestly, I have spent so much time in confusion. We love our sweet babies and HATE that we never got to squeeze their tiny cheeks. We were never meant for death,... the reality of that statement is so real after losing them.

I miss them.

Tears come so easy...

This 2008 is turning out to be so different than I imagined. But here's what hasn't changed. Will Hart is amazing. We have loved each other dizzy through this entire thing. He is THE most amazing man I have ever known.
Another constant- My Father continues to confuse and woo me at the same time. I know I am His, but I struggle feeling orphaned. We are totally working through some major stuff...

little BIG News.....

So the word is out..... we are going to have a baby.
Yep, a baby. August 2008 a new baby Hart will be arriving.
Will is elated, I'm not sure what I am.... I am somewhere between hopeful and freaked out.
God has really been inviting us into more freedom and surrender, and this was a hard one. I keep waiting to believe it... I'm not sure how to articulate what has been going on in my heart, and I don't want to misconvey where I'm at.... it's just a weird place. I really thought we would never have kids, and now there is a blueberry sized love in my belly... Our Father is crazy in love with us, and sometimes I don't know what to do with it...

Merry Christmas

So- here it is.... the inaugural post!!!!!!!
We decided it was time to join the land of effective communication and start sharing our story through blogging... :>
So I guess I'll start with a quick catch up of whats going on at the Hart house...

• Will and I are still living in sunny Colorado Springs.

• A new bit of info is that we are now sharing our lives (and home) with two of our best friends, Aaron and Jenah Johnson. Sometime last February we decided it might be nice if Aaron and Jenah moved into the little basement apartment. To be honest, I don't think we really had any idea what we were getting into... But we have fallen in love with this living in community, and are now committed to continuing to share our lives together.

• I (Cassie) am so close to being finished with school. I hope to take my boards in February and FINALLY be a nurse midwife!!!!

• Will has "retired" from teaching, and now works full time for Young Life. Its been a wonderful and wild transition. He misses teaching more than either of us would have guessed, but loves his new position with RMR (Rocky Mountain Region) Backcountry.

• We are currently having our first Hart/Johnson Christmas (The above photo is a shot of the Christmas tree adventure). As I type Will and Aaron are baking various sweet rolls. Our new Christmas tradition is to make homemade pizza (the dough is rising.... second batch, as the first has made its way to becoming sweet rolls).

• We leave tomorrow for Christmas in Indiana. YEAH!
  

• Okay- I'm off for now, to open gifts, eat pizza and... sweet rolls.